All Too Plausible

There's more to yesterday's Big Snub, though. (See "The Big Snub" below.)

As it happens, the Boiler Room lackeys actually did hear something about the exclusive Indian lunch yesterday before it happened. Around noon, before most of the lackeys had left to scrape together a their meager lunch, one of the two favored interns quietly told the other chosen one that they were invited to the high-class affair. The excluded lackeys, overhearing the mention of Indian food, were intrigued...but not invited.

Of course, the two chosen interns did not uninvite the other lackeys. But they quite naturally assumed that the invitation was indeed exclusive to them. For these two interns are in fact the same ones who have been pampered all summer long, as the Boiler Room blog has repeatedly noted.


After six weeks of being favored with exotic lunches and expensive, artisanal chocolate truffles, an exclusive invitation to such an aristocratic banquet seemed all too plausible to the chosen ones.

It's all quite telling.

The Big Snub!

Last week the Boilermaster and other staff invited all the lackeys to lunch at Mel's greasy spoon, but only one lackey actually took them up on the offer. The disillusioned Boilermaster complained for days -- including at yesterday morning's case review meeting -- about the unspirited, overly health-conscious interns who turned down the golden opportunity to hobnob with their supervisors over fried food.

The result? Two of the lackeys comspicuously absent from Mel's last week get an exclusive, hush-hush invitation to accompany the Boilermaster and Boilerminions to the delicious and healthy lunch buffet at Indian restaurant Milan.

The other lackeys? SNUBBED! (Including the one who had the good sense and manners to accept the Mel's invite last week.) The interns toiling away in the Boiler Room only found out about the A-list outing afterwards, from the rave reviews of the two chosen (pampered) lackeys. (Piping hot nan bread, fresh from the tandoor!)


What are we to learn from this gross injustice? Is this a bitter lesson about the ubiquity of social-Darwinian discrimination? Should we embrace the cynical wisdom of our peers working at firms this summer, enduring such social cruelties in exchange for roughly $2500.00 per week?

(We have a feeling "the skit" is getting shorter and darker by the day. )

Rock, Paper, Scissors

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA ORLANDO DIVISION

AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,

Plaintiff,

-vs-

WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY,

Defendant.

______________________________________

ORDER

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is

ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.

Copies furnished to: Counsel of Record

Quote of the Day

Intern (not associated with the Civil Advocacy Program) comments on the staff pictures sent out 'per Ameenah's request': "These pictures make them look young."

Rule of Bob?

Weird conversation between two lackeys:

Intern 1 to Intern 2: This should satisfy you for a little while.

Intern 2: How do you know what satisfies me?

Intern 1: I think I've stumbled upon it.

Intern 2: No, this doesn't do it for me.

(Unfortunately, we can't apply the Rule of Bob folks because this whole conversation was about music selection.)

Around Legal Aid (ALA)

Thumbs up to ALAJC's new name: ALA (Around Legal Aid). ALA was getting tired of typing those extra two letters. Now ALA has more time to devote posting ridiculous blogs.

Thumbs up to the kind soul who brought Breadworks goodies today. It's always good to share. We don't care what nasty rumors are going around about the establishment.



Thumbs down to lazy Boiler Room Interns who didn't post anything on the blog all last week. I guess working for the Boilermaster was more important. You lackeys need to get your priorities straight.

Inside the Lockdown

So, this last week a number of the interns were administered one of the holy sacraments of a public-interest legal career -- going inside lockdown facilities to visit clients.

The lucky lackeys (all females, we think) visited residents (or wards, if that's what they're called) in juvenile detention facilities and a mental institution.

For now, while the rest of wait behind the velvet rope for our own field trips, we can only pump our more seasoned colleagues for a few titilating details. (And extrapolate from the exciting tidbits we've picked up watching Prison Break and Ernest Goes to Jail.)

(Disclaimer: The accompanying picture and the reference to Ernest are in no way meant to trivialize the conditions in these facilities.)

Funny, But True Story

Occasional Boiler Room Intern asks the regular D.J. to turn on some music. The regular D.J. doesn't answer.

One intern tells Occasional Boiler Room Intern, "He only answers to D.J. Big Nasty."

Occasional Boiler Room Intern laughs and says, "I don't think I can call him D.J. Big Nasty with a straight face."

D.J. Big Nasty replies, "Why not? At my old job at Domino's, they use to call me Bone Thug."

Homage to Our Hero!

The Boiler Room lackeys are bursting with pride today as Andy Block receives the 2007 Legal Aid Award from the Virginia State Bar.

Because of his modesty, some lackeys may not appreciate Andy's achievements. (No lackeys know them all.) So here's a brief overview.

He moved here to be with his wife,
But found plenty of juvenile strife.
So JustChildren he founded;
Grant money abounded.
Now more kids get a fair shake in life.

All hail Andy!

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs up to all the LAJC staff that skip out early Friday and abandoned the interns. ALAJC appreciates your trust and wants to reassure you that the office is in good hands while you're out.

Don't worry...everything will be cleaned up and the place will be spotless by Monday.

Quote of the Day

Male intern remarking on Supervisor: "He didn't kiss me. I'm jealous. Clearly a sign of favoritism!

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs down to the newly self-appointed boiler room D.J. today. We want Adam and Musicovery back!

80's Night and Man vs. Wild

Yesterday, there was some heated discussion between several of the lackeys concerning or respective favorite TV shows. I feel that I need to defend Man vs. Wild. For those of you who haven't seen it, the premise is that they give the host nothing but a parachute and a knife, then push him out of a plane into the wilderness, and he has to make his way back to civilization. Attached are links to two short clips. The first is the host stranded in the Alaskan wilderness, catching a salmon with his bare hands. The second is in the Sierra Nevada mountains, in which the host is starving so he hunts a rabbit with a stick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG2TstzBqPY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxKENjeIPuA

Second, there has been a lot of discussion about an LAJC Lackey 80's Night outing. Jaberwoke has 80's night every Friday and Saturday. Any interest?

- Sporadic BR Lackey

Desperate Lackey Seeks Suitable Companion

Unsuccessful in his recent efforts prowling the maternity ward, and offended by subsequent low-brow offers of female companionship, the Bioler Room's cleanest, best-pressed, haute couture'd, continental laquai-about-town seeks suitably high-brow dame (a.k.a., hot momma) for stimulating liaisons and perhaps some baked brie (or an equally sophisticated "taco puff").

Definitely NOT interested in pity-induced consolation. (That gets old after a while.)

Indecent Proposal

In response to the anonymous intern, who so callously turned down my gracious invitation for T.V. Viewing:



Bodily harm should pale in comparison to an evening of T.V. with two lovely female interns.... regardless of the program in question.



-Gregarious part-time lackey

End of the Day Quote

Around 4:50pm:

Female intern invites male intern to watch T.V. show "So You Think You Can Dance."

Male intern asks, "What are you going to do with my body?"

Everyone looks bewildered.

Male intern continues, "...when I kill myself.

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs down to boiler room interns who have a picnic and don't invite the other interns and then bring their food into the boiler room to rub it in our faces. ALAJC doesn't care how good your food smells or looks cause we're too busy doing our work and enjoying how much more workspace (and peace and quiet) we have since your noisy, overstuffed bodies have left.

Funny, But True Story

First Intern asks Second Intern for his email address. Second intern replies, ---6n@virginia.edu.

First intern asks, "Is that "n" as in "nasty"? Other interns laugh.

Second intern replies, "Yes. That's my middle name- Big Nasty."

Quote of the Day (Before the day even started 8:40am)

One intern asks another intern which hospital is he going to be at all morning and the second intern replies:

"The main one. I'm going to the maternity ward to find me some hot young mamas!"

T-Shirt Quote of the Day

Supervisor takes interns to unnamed diner downtown. Waitress' t-shirt reads: "My farts smell like bacon."

Supervisor smiles and says, "Only the best for our interns."

Interns laugh and one replies, "If my sandwich (vegetarian) smelled like bacon then I would have worried."

Coolest Little-Known Lackey Fact

The coolest little nugget of info was revealed last week about one of the Boiler Room lackeys...whose father is a tug-boat captain!

Suffice it to say, the other lackeys (especially the boys, I suspect) are extremely jealous. Unless we learn that another lackey's father (or mother) is an astronaut, this is the coolest.

End to De Facto Segregation???

So under the guise of "remodeling" the boiler room to make more workspace for the interns, the male interns mysteriously are the only ones with a different workspace. They work diligently at their new desks, spreading out their work, with easy access to the phone and plenty of sunlight from the convenient location, while their counterparts labor arduously at the same wood table, packed tighten than a can of sardines.

Only recently, Friday and today, has this de facto segregation come to an end with the presence of one occasional boiler room male intern, who squeezed into the only available workspace at the table with the female lackeys. But how long will integration last? And is this truly intergration? In the famous words of Mr. King, "Why can't we all just get along?" I don't know...maybe cooties do really exist.

New Policy for Supervisor of the Week

Yes, the award for supervisor of the week was brought into question friday. The outcome: "LAJC Staff of the Week." This is not an award, but the recognition of a staff member or several staff members at the end of each week. Each staff member is picked randomly for the friday of that week to be mentioned on the Boiler Room Blog. There's no favoritism, no undemocratic "elections," no competition, and no need to stuff the interns with food and goodies (although this is still appreciated, but please do not feel pressured).

Quote of the Day

"It's not worthy to touch my bottom."
-anonymous LAJC intern

Rumble in the Boiler Room

The lackeys have had their first Boiler Room fight, or close to it. And, as one might expect, the contention was all about how best to honor and respect our LAJC supervisors.

That's right, the dustup was all about the Supervisor of the Week honor -- how it should be decided, the ethical obligations associated with creating such an award, the cut-throat competition it engenders among the supervisors, etc.

In the end, no blood was spilled, no chairs thrown, and no one's giving anyone else the silent treatment. Calm prevails.

Peace out.

One Fat Week

Cupcakes on Tuesday. A McGrady's outing on Wednesday at lunch (at least for the lackeys who were available at the time). The deliciously catered reception Wednesday evening. Muffins Thursday morning at case review. Reception leftovers at lunch time on Thursday. A box of Breadworks cookies in the Boiler Room this morning. And that's just for the lackeys chained to the office all week.

If good food fires the boilers of legal research and intake at LAJC, this will have been the most productive week yet this summer. But we trust future weeks will be just as good.

(But we can't believe the Boilermaster and other staff members can continue their arteriosclerosis-defying McGrady feats on a regular basis. It's not like they're as young as the lackeys!)

A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing...

While visiting a Mexican restaurant in Orange, an LAJC attorney and an intern were confronted by a protester in the parking lot. What was he protesting? If you guessed the war in Iraq you would be woefully mistaken. Immigration? Nope. This courageous man decided to take a stand against... lawyers! To quote a sign, "Lawyers will receive greater damnation in hell." Greater than what? Like many a great author, the protester left this to our imagination.

So, the two brave LAJCers decided they would go have a kind word with the man on the mission. When asked what his beef was, he responded, "Well, I just got done telling that to them" (pointing to the people driving away). Evidently, the LAJCers presumptuously assumed the protester was standing by the street with signs because he wanted to tell his story. Nonetheless, the kind-hearted protester appeased the LAJCers by explaining that he lost his pro se case when the opposing attorney stole his medical records from the clerk's office (note: unconfirmed).

Evidently, in addition to being compulsive thieves, lawyers are not Americans either. Attempting to cite the Constitution, he noted that lawyers call themselves "Esquire," which is a title of nobility, which is not allowed. When it was kindly pointed out that what the Constitution actually says is that the U.S. government will not give titles of nobility and no person holding a position of office shall accept one from another nation without the approval of congress, he responded, "Yeah, they can't accept a title of nobility and they call themselves esquire." Seeing that the differentiation eluded him. The LAJCer resorted to analogy and asked, "What about LeBron James? Is he an American? He calls himself King James?" At which point he began to explain how that in the gospel of Luke, it says lawyers are going to hell. An LAJCer then asked what he thought about Legal Aid lawyers who help the poor for free. "All part of the same monopoly."

The LAJCers then took a few pamphlets the protester had made up and wished him luck, the whole time their legal personas having remained undercover. Before they could leave, the protester stopped them to explain his disgust in having been wished luck. "The word 'luck,'" he said "is derived from Lucifer" and I guess he doesn't like mingling with the devil. To think he sullied himself talking to two of the devil's own and didn't even know it! Muah, ha ha!

Supervisor of the Week

So, one of the boiler room interns has spent most of the week on field trips, hitting up no less than three hospitals and being taken out to lunch not once but twice! The bar has been raised. And we're not talking about bar food either... we're talking Martha's on the corner and everyone's favorite Mexican place in Orange. So, here's to Christianne, the supervisor of the week.

Quote of the Day

We may just be getting started with the day but we're firing on all cylinders here...

"I have a mutant toe nail that I don't like to inflict upon people."
-anonymous boiler room intern

Hey Ladies!

So after listening to one intern remark that the blog was particularly male-centric, I thought I'd add a particular topic for debate. Why aren't dressy flip-flops considered "business attire?" We are in a relatively Southern climate, and as we approach the heart of the summer, my poor toes feel cramped and constrained by the rigors of "business" shoes.

Also, on a side note, one cannot claim to have a "favorite" dance song, if unwilling to engage in a spontaneous exhibition of that dance. I issue a challenge for said intern at the intern karaoke night.

Quotes of the Day

Ah, the joys of a happy family...

From the case review meeting this morning, one of the female LAJC staff members:

"I think ponies are better than boys. That's based on 24 years of being in a committed relationship."

In the Boiler Room, during a discussion of how some people are very into board games:

"My parents almost got divorced because of a game of Risk. They split up for a couple of days. Apparently my mom had a stronghold in Australia and my dad decided to invade."

Credit where it's due

With the surprise (undemocratic) creation of a Supervisor of the Week award and the attention John and Carolyn have received for their generosity, it seems only fair that the JustChildren interns publicly thank Andy and Abigail for graciously treating them to lunch at McGrady's Pub on day 1. Thank you for the warm and yummy welcome.

Of course, some lackeys suspect the creation of the Supervisor of the Week award was just a cheap attempt by the civil advocacy interns to divert our attention from their pampered status, trying to sow the seeds of discord between us and our own supervisors. Rest assured, this won't work.

The cupcakes this morning, courtesy of one of the aforementioned pampered interns, were a much better way to win friends in the Boiler Room. (Keep 'em coming!)

So fickle...

The Boilermaster apparently can't make up his mind.

In the first week of our internship he and the LAJC staff talked up the blog so much that we might have been excused for thinking that maintaining the blog was our top priority this summer. (We're smarter than that, of course.) So, creative self-starters and conscientious boss-pleasers that we are, the lackeys in the Boiler Room began to shine -- posting witicisms while maintaining our high standards of workplace efficiency, to the delight of all. ...or so we thought.

The result? Complaints from the Boilermaster ("C-ville interns gone wild..."), and instructions to our supervisors to give us more work, to keep us away from the blog.

What could explain such fickleness?

Jealousy? Could the charismatic Boilermaster begrudge the interns the modicum of attention they are receiving for their wit and creativity?

Control issues? Could the Boilermaster be afraid his staff attorneys will spend too much of their time reading and commenting on the blog?

Or something more sinister? Have the Boiler Room lackeys come uncomfortably close to discovering some inconvenient truths? Is this knowledge a little too much power to allow the interns to wield? Are the lackeys creating a little too much of an identity for themselves? Rest assured, we will be alert for potential NLRA section 7 violations (thanks to Rip Verkerke's employment law class).

A new friend...?

There was a lot of clamor this afternoon in the boiler room for a boiler room pet and alas craigslist has come through. "Two almost free goats" are now available! Turns out they are "great... goats for pulling carts" so our idea about having chariot races on the downtown mall will definitely work out :)
http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/grd/339445359.html

Quote of the Day

Anonymous Intern describing a previous work experience (not related to his LAJC summer internship whatsoever): "I was so bored I'd find myself staring at the wall and I had no idea for how long. It was like I just woke up except my eyes were open."

Later, a Talkative Intern is on the phone having conversation with landlord's agent. While on hold, he asks the other interns: "Is it normal to have to pay your rent before you actually move in?"

Some moments pass and Talkative Intern asks the agent on the other line: "When is the rent due again?. . . Oh ok, yesterday afternoon. Well, I guess I'll drop it off later today."

Next, in a different conversation, Occasional Boiler Room Intern asks: "Who wants to dance with sketchy guys anyway?"

"Me!" Random Intern replies.

Restoring Honor and Integrity

Over the weekend an intruder, claiming to be a 2006 LAJC intern, created a post on the Boiler Room blog spreading misinformation.

Regretably, the lackeys in the Boiler Room have had to take security measures to keep jealous former interns (probably selling their souls this summer, working for the man) from further compromising the integrity of the blog.

Jealous former interns, along with LAJC staff and anyone else who is interested, are welcome to add comments to blog posts.

Big Lie Not Such a Big Lie

Apparently a rumor is going around that the end of summer skit is
nothing more than a farce - a joke to scare the interns that never
actually gets played out. This is no lie, my fellow lackies. As a
member of last year's lackey class, I can tell you that there was a skit
indeed. And it was great. And it included singing. And we most
definitely did not make fun of Alex, which would have been a huge
mistake for our collective careers.

So get those creative juices flowing - the heat of the boiler room can
be very good for that.

A pea under someone's mattress?

The intern that is suspected to have created the Supervisor of the Week award has just made it clear that not ALL largesse is appreciated equally.

"Gift cards suck! Just give me the green."

She'll have to forgive the rest of us Boiler Room lackeys if our standards aren't quite as high.

Supervisor of the Week

Carolyn Clark receives the award for Supervisor of the Week. This week, Carolyn invited her interns to a surprise lunch downtown at West Main where they dined on spinach and artichoke dip in bread baskets, hamburgers, french fries, and salads. And of course, washed it all down with an ice-cold drink. Then she bought them fancy chocolates across the street at Gearhart's. Also, John Conover receives Supervisor of the Week for the first week of work (May 21st). John took his interns on a field trip to Nelson County where they toured the courthouse and saw the beautiful countryside while traveling. He also treated them to Thai food and icecream!!!

So for next week, Carolyn and John will celebrate their awards together. Three cheers for Carolyn and John. Everyone is to congratulate them on their wonderful achievement. It is truly an honor to work with such great individuals. We wish there were more supervisors like them.

For those who aspire to reach the same level of esteem as Carolyn and John and achieve Supervisor of the Week, you still have the opportunity to try to receive the award over the summer. Remember, nothing in life is free. If you want the interns' respect and appreciation, you have to "earn" it. Have a good weekend!

Just give me the ketchup

Quote of the Day:

Very talkative Intern 1: Recites story recently heard on the radio about a shooting stemming from stingy ketchup distribution at a fast food joint, believed to be Wendy's.

Sympathetic Intern 2: "I sympathize with the guy... silly, stupid stuff like that drives people crazy. Sometimes I want more ketchup, too."

Concerned Intern 3: "Remind me to give you ketchup whenever you ask."

Curious Intern 4 asks Sympathetic Intern 2: "So, do you own a gun?"

Sympathetic Intern 2: "I plea the fifth."