Oh, if only the telecom lobby were as ineffective as these Chinese Segway-machine-gun paramilitary guys look. Unfortunately, that is not the case; Congress has granted telecoms that participated in blatantly and admittedly illegal wiretapping retroactive immunity. The point of such a law is to let private companies know that if the President asks them to do something that any doofus can tell is illegal they can just do it without worrying. Of course the ACLU and the EFF will challenge the constitutionality of the FISA amendment law in court, but can you honestly see SCOTUS countermanding Congress and the President on something that could be characterized as a national security issue?
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wiretaps
Oh, if only the telecom lobby were as ineffective as these Chinese Segway-machine-gun paramilitary guys look. Unfortunately, that is not the case; Congress has granted telecoms that participated in blatantly and admittedly illegal wiretapping retroactive immunity. The point of such a law is to let private companies know that if the President asks them to do something that any doofus can tell is illegal they can just do it without worrying. Of course the ACLU and the EFF will challenge the constitutionality of the FISA amendment law in court, but can you honestly see SCOTUS countermanding Congress and the President on something that could be characterized as a national security issue?
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Alpacas
"The room is cold" quote of the day: "It's so cold in here! I need, like, an alpaca to sit with me all day long."
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Too many cats
I've been criticized for making the blog too cat-centered. Therefore, I found an album of songs about dogs.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Free Exorcise Clause
The Texas Supreme Court threw out, on First Amendment grounds, an abuse and false imprisonment jury verdict against a church that performed an exorcism on a 17-year-old girl. She received cuts, bruises, and carpet burns while being pinned to the floor for hours during the exorcism. She later hallucinated, self-mutilated, and attempted suicide. Finding the church liable "would have an unconstitutional 'chilling effect' by compelling the church to abandon core principles of its religious beliefs."
Yes, finding liability would force these people to change their religious practices. Yes, their current religious practices cause real harm. How do you resolve that? Many people assume that there is little harm in a broad free exercise clause in non-governmental contexts because most forms of religious expression don't cause direct harm to others. However, there's nothing inherent in religion to prevent it from being a force for evil; even if God is a wholly benevolent god, the people who worship are not. In fact, history shows us that the free exercise of religion almost inevitably leads to the weight of oppression falling on a minority. Children who do not satisfy their parents' religious expectations are particularly at risk, as this story suggests. Of course there are very real slippery-slope dangers associated with allowing any governmental body to decide which religious practices are so extreme that they can be banned, but shouldn't there be some point when people should be restricted to religious practices that don't cause physical and psychological damage to children?
read link
Yes, finding liability would force these people to change their religious practices. Yes, their current religious practices cause real harm. How do you resolve that? Many people assume that there is little harm in a broad free exercise clause in non-governmental contexts because most forms of religious expression don't cause direct harm to others. However, there's nothing inherent in religion to prevent it from being a force for evil; even if God is a wholly benevolent god, the people who worship are not. In fact, history shows us that the free exercise of religion almost inevitably leads to the weight of oppression falling on a minority. Children who do not satisfy their parents' religious expectations are particularly at risk, as this story suggests. Of course there are very real slippery-slope dangers associated with allowing any governmental body to decide which religious practices are so extreme that they can be banned, but shouldn't there be some point when people should be restricted to religious practices that don't cause physical and psychological damage to children?
read link
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
DOJ doesn't want you
[I'm a little embarrassed to say that I did the image]
[full disclosure: I'm VP of the American Constitution Society at UVa and feel personally attacked]
Sorry, people, but having Legal Aid on your resume might make you un-hirable at the DOJ. You're just too liberal, and the DOJ is supposed to be a conservative Republican think-tank and litigation shop. What, you think the DOJ should even-handedly serve America? Now you really won't get hired.
New York Times:
A report by the Justice Department’s inspector general concluded that “many qualified candidates” were rejected for the department’s honors program because of what was perceived as a liberal bias. Those practices, the report concluded, “constituted misconduct and also violated the department’s policies and civil service law that prohibit discrimination in hiring based on political or ideological affiliations.”
ACS Blog:
12 of 13 applicants for the DOJ’s Summer Law Intern Program who were affiliated with ACS were “deselected” for job interviews, while none of the 12 applicants who were Federalist Society members received such treatment and all did receive interviews. All seven candidates for the Honors Program who indicated that they were ACS members were deselected by the Screening Committee for interviews, while 2 of 29 applicants who indicated that they were members of the Federalist Society were deselected.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A Little More Love
Ya tebya lyublyu
Phom Rak Khun
Seni seviyorum
Je t'aime
Te amo
Ik hou van je
Mai tumaha pyar karta hu
Ani ohev otach
So many ways to say I love you. What languages are represented here?
Re: Retirement
Well, José obviously don't care about this relationship. If he wants to just throw away everything that we've invested in this, go ahead. I don't care. I have friends who will feed me ice cream as I cry out the pain in my heart.
Retirement
In light of recent comments, I am going into early blog retirement. Though I reserve the right to come out of my chosen retirement at any point, I see no reason to legitimize the slanderous accusations posted here.
New Coldplay? Old Coldplay.
Today you can get X & Y and A Rush Of Blood To The Head for $1.99 each (for the whole album) as DRM-free mp3s from Amazon. Tomorrow and Friday there will be different Coldplay albums for between $0.99 and $1.99.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Is Fox News using poor diction?
Fox News apparently ran this story:
This is despicable, sacrilege against the English language and Ebonics (which derived its name from "Ebony Phonics," by the way). In order to be a baby mama, it is absolutely clear that you cannot be married to the man.
This is despicable, sacrilege against the English language and Ebonics (which derived its name from "Ebony Phonics," by the way). In order to be a baby mama, it is absolutely clear that you cannot be married to the man.
A prisoner's letter
(with identifying information changed)
"I was given a sentence of 40 months and 30 days. I was held in SHRJ (Sunshine Happiness Regional Jail) for 3 months before I was given a DOC number. I became DOC property on 4/15/06."
Didn't we learn in Property that you aren't supposed to be able to own people? Oh, it's not OK for me to own people, but the government can do it? Oh, OK. That makes sense.
"I was given a sentence of 40 months and 30 days. I was held in SHRJ (Sunshine Happiness Regional Jail) for 3 months before I was given a DOC number. I became DOC property on 4/15/06."
Didn't we learn in Property that you aren't supposed to be able to own people? Oh, it's not OK for me to own people, but the government can do it? Oh, OK. That makes sense.
Schism?
Apparently the Boiler Room likes me only until I open my mouth to talk about my Pastafarian religious beliefs or show my cute pink cell phone in its cute pouch or make a blog post about premature joculation, which is hilarious. This is a violation of my constitutional rights to freedom of religion, expression, and association. We're this close to a schism and a separate Rock House blog. If I did start my own blog*, the first post would include this, although now that I included this here I wouldn't make it the first post. You know what I mean.
*also known as being ejected from the Boiler Room
*also known as being ejected from the Boiler Room
The problem with pet snakes...
"Bridgeport police said they arrested a city man after he ordered his pet snake to attack two officers. Lucky for them, 9-foot-long pythons aren't very obedient." - AP
Monday, June 16, 2008
Word of the Day
Let me give you a sampling of recent Words of the Day from the Bunker: vituperative, Weltanschauung, bloviate . . . I think you see my point. My point is that the LAJC blogs are lacking in street cred. Of course the way to remedy is this to change our vocabulary. Once we master the proper "urban" diction and elocution, we will gain the respect of 50 Cent.
May I present the Urban Dictionary Word of the Day:
Premature Joculation
The act of celebrating an event before it has been fully resolved. Sometimes quickly followed by an embarrassing retraction when things turn out differently.
May I present the Urban Dictionary Word of the Day:
Premature Joculation
The act of celebrating an event before it has been fully resolved. Sometimes quickly followed by an embarrassing retraction when things turn out differently.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Hotter than WHAT?!
Friday's quote of the day did not come from office conversation. Instead it came from the waiter at Miller's (where we were, celebrating Andy's birthday). Upon serving us chili cheese fries, the waiter cautioned us:
"Careful with these fries. They're hotter than two lesbians fighting over a jug of canola oil in a phone booth."
Feel free to comment on this.
Friday, June 13, 2008
A Week in Review
2400 Minutes: How do you measure, measure a week [to the tune of Seasons of Love] -
- $136: in travels to and from Louisa to view a file which, in the end, ("BAD NEWS FOR YOU GUYS!"), HUD policy prevented us from viewing in its entirety.
- 6: Articles of clothing purchased on female boiler room excursion to the fabulous Fashion Square Mall (to Belk, and beyond) --> one black dress, one brown dress, one pair green capris, one black satin shirt, one jean skirt, and one seriously under-appreciated green skirt with tiny pink embroidered flamingos.
- probably about 12: cases Mike closed this week. Never mind that he only had 5 open on Monday. We call him, and Kyra Sedgewick, "The Closer," and the world needs folks like Mike and Kyra.
- One: Humilitating aforementioned karaoke incident. No one wore pleather.
Stay tuned next week for more lemon raspberry freeze pops and inter-office conflicts over the placement of desert flora. That's why we do what we do. It ain't for the free whisky. [w/ credit to Trace Adkins.]
- $136: in travels to and from Louisa to view a file which, in the end, ("BAD NEWS FOR YOU GUYS!"), HUD policy prevented us from viewing in its entirety.
- 6: Articles of clothing purchased on female boiler room excursion to the fabulous Fashion Square Mall (to Belk, and beyond) --> one black dress, one brown dress, one pair green capris, one black satin shirt, one jean skirt, and one seriously under-appreciated green skirt with tiny pink embroidered flamingos.
- probably about 12: cases Mike closed this week. Never mind that he only had 5 open on Monday. We call him, and Kyra Sedgewick, "The Closer," and the world needs folks like Mike and Kyra.
- One: Humilitating aforementioned karaoke incident. No one wore pleather.
Stay tuned next week for more lemon raspberry freeze pops and inter-office conflicts over the placement of desert flora. That's why we do what we do. It ain't for the free whisky. [w/ credit to Trace Adkins.]
Grease is the word
Last night. The setting? Baja Bean Karaoke. 4 talented interns (3 girls and one very brave, very secure boy) rocked the house with their rendition of "You're the One that I want." Hot. Sexy. The words are appropriate. And that's all you need to know about that.
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
All for one [cactus]....!
The Boiler Room Intern Nexus Group for Internal Tactics (BRING IT) is pleased to report that it was successful in its operation to seize Roger, the Bunker Cactus, and place him in protective custody. He is now in safe, nurturing hands that hope to nurse him back to health. Roger enjoys the love and support from his family and friends in the Boiler Room and wants to put the traumatic experience behind him.
M R DUCKS
M R MICE
M R NOT
OSAR C M EDBD FEET?
LIB M R MICE
Try sounding it out aloud and think "arkansas"
Coming Soon: Triple-Threat Match!
This is bound to be the battle of the decade! In this very Boiler Room, a Triple-Threat, no-holds barred, falls-count-anywhere, match between SHIVA(the Destroyer), GALACTUS (the Devourer of Worlds), and FLUFFY (the Destroyer of Worlds)!
We will soon be posting Vegas odds as information becomes available to us.
Flammable
Flammable. An oddity, chiefly useful in saving lives. The common word meaning "combustible" is inflammable. But some people are thrown off by the in- and think inflammable means "not combustible." For this reason, trucks carrying gasoline or explosives are now marked FLAMMABLE. Unless you are operating such a truck and hence are concerned with the safety of children and illiterates, use inflammable.
Strunk and White, The Elements of Style
Our enemies fear law students and...El Jefe.
"They don't like students because they think you're smarter than they are."
"Well...."
"Ok, you are."
Words of encouragement from our favorite (and only) Consigliere
Disgraced lawyers are funny
"Well, you could pull an all-nighter to work on the brief and then be too tired tomorrow and lose in court. It'd be funny.....well, it'd be funny to me." - The Godrather's consigliere.
Krausian
"Is that Brenda opening a coke can? That's Krausian."
"Krausian isn't a word."
"No. It's a way of life."
Legal Ant(s) Justice Center
Maybe it was the friendly conversation. Perhaps it was the vast array of legal brainpower in the room. Or probably just the food. But the ants are back.
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Joke's on the Jailer
"That guy thought we were there to gain practical experience. Little did he know we were just there out of morbid curiosity." - You know who, except he won't let me write his name [on our prison visit]
Power Struggle?
Are leaders born? Appointed from on high? Or derived from the power of the proletariat? There appears to be a power struggle afoot that will not rest until "all your base are belong to us." Beware the protection of El Jefe.
Boiler Room Cosa Nostra
With the Godfather's blessing, the man known simply as "El Jefe" assumes the role of Capo Bastone or "underboss" within the ranks of the Boiler Room, answering only to the Godfather himself and his female Consigliere
Legally HOT
"It was my first experience with the dormant commerce clause. It was like...whoa....hooooooot." - Erica
Day-Tripping!
Saint Kyle: Are they off on another field trip?
Me: Yeah. Again.
Saint Kyle: Did Katie go this time?
Me: Yeah. She went yesterday too. 3 people for that job?
Saint Kyle: Well yesterday, that was a joke.
Me: If yesterday was a joke, what's today?
Saint Kyle: A travesty.
Boiler Room chatter. Jail visit up next!
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
(two Chuck Norris facts in a row. This blog needs more posters.)
Monday, June 09, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Quote:
"I think the client just liked talking to men. Sometimes dogs are like that too."
--Anonymous Lackey
--Anonymous Lackey
NO GIRLS ALLOWED
The men of the Boiler Room have managed to drive off all of the women. What was it? Our recitation of bad pick-up lines? Our lack of appreciation for 10 Things I Hate About You? BO? We'll find out on Monday when our women return.
The BBQ Room
The Boiler Room went for roadside, Pit-Stop (formerly Jinx's) delicious BBQ. Just putting that out there. Don't get too jealous.
And the intern who can yell "fooooooore" in a sexy Scottish brogue is....
Kyle "Tiger" Wamstead who learned to play golf at St. Andrews while studying at St. Andrews.
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Bridget's self-deprecating quote of the day
"If you were opposing counsel, would YOU take me seriously once you met me in person?"
Bromance
noun.
(1) A curiously strong attraction between two straight males.
(2) When one dude thinks that another dude is, like, totally awesome.
I hear that there is a bit of bromance between a certain intern and Sean Singletary, graduating point guard for UVa's basketball team.
Urban Dictionary
(1) A curiously strong attraction between two straight males.
(2) When one dude thinks that another dude is, like, totally awesome.
I hear that there is a bit of bromance between a certain intern and Sean Singletary, graduating point guard for UVa's basketball team.
Urban Dictionary
Perjury
I was just skimming the Virginia Rules. Imagine the following situation:
You're charged with a crime and offer on the record to plead either guilty or nolo contendere. Then you withdraw your plea and are charged with perjury for lying that you were guilty. Ouch. Even odder is that the rule mentions nolo contendere pleas when in that case you aren't really making a statement about your guilt.
You're charged with a crime and offer on the record to plead either guilty or nolo contendere. Then you withdraw your plea and are charged with perjury for lying that you were guilty. Ouch. Even odder is that the rule mentions nolo contendere pleas when in that case you aren't really making a statement about your guilt.
And the "Enlightened" Intern is...
While in India, Jose "Om" Masini journeyed to the Himalayan town of Dharamsala ("Little Lhasa"), home of the Tibetan government in exile, and attended teachings conducted by the His Holiness The Dalai Lama in his home temple.
"Om mani padme hum." - Tibetan mantra.
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Chuck Norris Fact of the Day
There is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Ice Cream Truck
It is now 2:45 on a Tuesday afternoon, and I could swear on my credentials of ministry that I just heard the jingle of an ice cream truck from somewhere nearby.
Or I might be hallucinating.
Or I might be hallucinating.
Epstein
I just heard that Eppie's, on the downtown mall, is owned by the son of Professor Richard Epstein, and consequently Epstein is sometimes in Cville. Sweet. I'm totally getting my casebook signed by the author..
Intern Activities
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I'm trying to figure out what interns want to do this summer.
By the way, I titled this photo "Stoned Stone Garden Gnome." One of my first forays into Photoshop.
Give it up for the Reverend....
Jason "The Preacher Man" McKim! Jason is an electronically ordained minister through the United Life Church and is legally licensed to perform weddings. The Universal Life Church has two beliefs: (1) do good, and (2) respect other religions. Simple enough, right?
Jason's credentials of ministry are available in PDF format at http://people.virginia.edu/~jdm2fb/Credentials%20of%20Ministry.pdf
The voters in this last poll were remarkably accurate in choosing the correct intern. When asked why, one voter responded "Jason just seems like the type of person who would do something crazy and stupid like that." Ahem.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Proving Jason's Dorkiness
I could just ask people if they're going to Fridays After Five, but why do that when I can have all of your data auto-populate into a spreadsheet when you finish my quiz? Then I can like, run pivot tables on the data or something.
Thank you.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Meet the Intern: Ramesh "Embrace the Fear" Menon
In an effort to make the Boiler Room blog more cheery and light-hearted, I changed the color scheme and will end every sentence with an exclamation point or two!!
Hello all! The results of the latest Meet the Intern poll are in!! It was Ramesh "Embrace the Fear" Menon who has been skydiving in New Zealand!! "Embrace the Fear" was the slogan of the skydiving company!! =) =)
Up next: Meet the Intern: This intern can perform legally binding marriage ceremonies.
Hello all! The results of the latest Meet the Intern poll are in!! It was Ramesh "Embrace the Fear" Menon who has been skydiving in New Zealand!! "Embrace the Fear" was the slogan of the skydiving company!! =) =)
Up next: Meet the Intern: This intern can perform legally binding marriage ceremonies.
The Bunker
flowers
Originally uploaded by Jason McKim
I've been reading some descriptions of the working conditions over in the Bunker and The Affiliated Territories; I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that:
although the Bunker is cold and dark, sort of like an arctic cave filled with vicious glow-in-the-dark polar bears [killing flies and] valiantly striving for justice, the Boiler Room is pleasant and sunny, looking out on the bucolic beauty of nature, sort of like a beach in Mexico where attractive young legal interns play beach volleyball for justice. Bump, set, SPIKE that ball right past the landlord to land cleanly in the Sands of Justice.
Law and Order
The Boiler Room is suing NBC because "Law" and "Order" are the trademarked names of our right and left fists. Opposing counsel can run, but they can't hide.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Cookie Survey...
Upcoming Boiler Room-Specific Interactive Survey: The Cookie Showdown
We've procured six cookies from the across-the-street bakery to conduct an important survey - which cookie has what it takes to overcome the 3pm slump?
Will it be...
Java Chip? This chewy, chocolatey delight's partially melted chips will soothe the midday mayhem...
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip? Gooey chocolate chips, doughy, peanut butter cookie - unbeatable combination?
Chocolate Chip? No new twist on an old favorite, will a slight deficiency in chocolate chips defeat this contender?
Snickerdoodle? Cinnamon sugar sweetness...delicious, break-offable pieces - but can this cookie beat out the members of the chocolate quartet?
Pecan Shortbread? Crispy shortbread cookie w/ ornamental pecan: too plain, or subtle culinary genius?
Chocolate Walnut? Chocolate Walnut makes a bold move, opting for a chocolate dough base, accented with crunchy walnut pieces -
Or, the surprise last-minute entry, Katie Peacock's Butterscotch Oatmeal cookies, a deliciously unexpected pairing of traditional oatmeal flavor and rich, butterscotch pieaces?
Weigh in, readers!
We've procured six cookies from the across-the-street bakery to conduct an important survey - which cookie has what it takes to overcome the 3pm slump?
Will it be...
Java Chip? This chewy, chocolatey delight's partially melted chips will soothe the midday mayhem...
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip? Gooey chocolate chips, doughy, peanut butter cookie - unbeatable combination?
Chocolate Chip? No new twist on an old favorite, will a slight deficiency in chocolate chips defeat this contender?
Snickerdoodle? Cinnamon sugar sweetness...delicious, break-offable pieces - but can this cookie beat out the members of the chocolate quartet?
Pecan Shortbread? Crispy shortbread cookie w/ ornamental pecan: too plain, or subtle culinary genius?
Chocolate Walnut? Chocolate Walnut makes a bold move, opting for a chocolate dough base, accented with crunchy walnut pieces -
Or, the surprise last-minute entry, Katie Peacock's Butterscotch Oatmeal cookies, a deliciously unexpected pairing of traditional oatmeal flavor and rich, butterscotch pieaces?
Weigh in, readers!
Sounds of the Boiler Room - A Haiku
Bridget squeaks often.
Working makes a peacock groan.
Oh, Boiler Room sounds.
Meet the Intern: Katie "Peacock" Vorhis
Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to announce the correct answer to last week's "Meet the Intern" poll. The answer was . . .
Katie Peacock Vorhis!!!
Up next: this intern has been skydiving in New Zealand.
Katie Peacock Vorhis!!!
Up next: this intern has been skydiving in New Zealand.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Field Report
Agent Lackey238 is operating in foreign territory undercover this weekend. He recently fended off this vicious Norfolk Terrier puppy named Otis.
Friday, May 23, 2008
CONSTANT VIGILANCE
The Boiler Room has become aware of subversive efforts carried out by the Morgue (alias "Bullpen"). Motivated by jealousy over the Boiler Room's superiority, Morgue marauders have been caught raiding the Boiler Room's supplies, hijacking the printer, and engaging in acoustic espionage. The Boiler Room appreciates your lunch invitation, but we are also wary of Morgue members bearing gifts. We welcome friendship but any hostile attempts will be met with swift and crushing retaliation by troops from our special ops division, the Boiler Room Interns Nexus Group for Internal Tactics (BRING IT).
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