All Too Plausible

There's more to yesterday's Big Snub, though. (See "The Big Snub" below.)

As it happens, the Boiler Room lackeys actually did hear something about the exclusive Indian lunch yesterday before it happened. Around noon, before most of the lackeys had left to scrape together a their meager lunch, one of the two favored interns quietly told the other chosen one that they were invited to the high-class affair. The excluded lackeys, overhearing the mention of Indian food, were intrigued...but not invited.

Of course, the two chosen interns did not uninvite the other lackeys. But they quite naturally assumed that the invitation was indeed exclusive to them. For these two interns are in fact the same ones who have been pampered all summer long, as the Boiler Room blog has repeatedly noted.


After six weeks of being favored with exotic lunches and expensive, artisanal chocolate truffles, an exclusive invitation to such an aristocratic banquet seemed all too plausible to the chosen ones.

It's all quite telling.

The Big Snub!

Last week the Boilermaster and other staff invited all the lackeys to lunch at Mel's greasy spoon, but only one lackey actually took them up on the offer. The disillusioned Boilermaster complained for days -- including at yesterday morning's case review meeting -- about the unspirited, overly health-conscious interns who turned down the golden opportunity to hobnob with their supervisors over fried food.

The result? Two of the lackeys comspicuously absent from Mel's last week get an exclusive, hush-hush invitation to accompany the Boilermaster and Boilerminions to the delicious and healthy lunch buffet at Indian restaurant Milan.

The other lackeys? SNUBBED! (Including the one who had the good sense and manners to accept the Mel's invite last week.) The interns toiling away in the Boiler Room only found out about the A-list outing afterwards, from the rave reviews of the two chosen (pampered) lackeys. (Piping hot nan bread, fresh from the tandoor!)


What are we to learn from this gross injustice? Is this a bitter lesson about the ubiquity of social-Darwinian discrimination? Should we embrace the cynical wisdom of our peers working at firms this summer, enduring such social cruelties in exchange for roughly $2500.00 per week?

(We have a feeling "the skit" is getting shorter and darker by the day. )

Rock, Paper, Scissors

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA ORLANDO DIVISION

AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,

Plaintiff,

-vs-

WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY,

Defendant.

______________________________________

ORDER

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is

ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.

Copies furnished to: Counsel of Record

Quote of the Day

Intern (not associated with the Civil Advocacy Program) comments on the staff pictures sent out 'per Ameenah's request': "These pictures make them look young."

Rule of Bob?

Weird conversation between two lackeys:

Intern 1 to Intern 2: This should satisfy you for a little while.

Intern 2: How do you know what satisfies me?

Intern 1: I think I've stumbled upon it.

Intern 2: No, this doesn't do it for me.

(Unfortunately, we can't apply the Rule of Bob folks because this whole conversation was about music selection.)

Around Legal Aid (ALA)

Thumbs up to ALAJC's new name: ALA (Around Legal Aid). ALA was getting tired of typing those extra two letters. Now ALA has more time to devote posting ridiculous blogs.

Thumbs up to the kind soul who brought Breadworks goodies today. It's always good to share. We don't care what nasty rumors are going around about the establishment.



Thumbs down to lazy Boiler Room Interns who didn't post anything on the blog all last week. I guess working for the Boilermaster was more important. You lackeys need to get your priorities straight.

Inside the Lockdown

So, this last week a number of the interns were administered one of the holy sacraments of a public-interest legal career -- going inside lockdown facilities to visit clients.

The lucky lackeys (all females, we think) visited residents (or wards, if that's what they're called) in juvenile detention facilities and a mental institution.

For now, while the rest of wait behind the velvet rope for our own field trips, we can only pump our more seasoned colleagues for a few titilating details. (And extrapolate from the exciting tidbits we've picked up watching Prison Break and Ernest Goes to Jail.)

(Disclaimer: The accompanying picture and the reference to Ernest are in no way meant to trivialize the conditions in these facilities.)

Funny, But True Story

Occasional Boiler Room Intern asks the regular D.J. to turn on some music. The regular D.J. doesn't answer.

One intern tells Occasional Boiler Room Intern, "He only answers to D.J. Big Nasty."

Occasional Boiler Room Intern laughs and says, "I don't think I can call him D.J. Big Nasty with a straight face."

D.J. Big Nasty replies, "Why not? At my old job at Domino's, they use to call me Bone Thug."

Homage to Our Hero!

The Boiler Room lackeys are bursting with pride today as Andy Block receives the 2007 Legal Aid Award from the Virginia State Bar.

Because of his modesty, some lackeys may not appreciate Andy's achievements. (No lackeys know them all.) So here's a brief overview.

He moved here to be with his wife,
But found plenty of juvenile strife.
So JustChildren he founded;
Grant money abounded.
Now more kids get a fair shake in life.

All hail Andy!

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs up to all the LAJC staff that skip out early Friday and abandoned the interns. ALAJC appreciates your trust and wants to reassure you that the office is in good hands while you're out.

Don't worry...everything will be cleaned up and the place will be spotless by Monday.

Quote of the Day

Male intern remarking on Supervisor: "He didn't kiss me. I'm jealous. Clearly a sign of favoritism!

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs down to the newly self-appointed boiler room D.J. today. We want Adam and Musicovery back!

80's Night and Man vs. Wild

Yesterday, there was some heated discussion between several of the lackeys concerning or respective favorite TV shows. I feel that I need to defend Man vs. Wild. For those of you who haven't seen it, the premise is that they give the host nothing but a parachute and a knife, then push him out of a plane into the wilderness, and he has to make his way back to civilization. Attached are links to two short clips. The first is the host stranded in the Alaskan wilderness, catching a salmon with his bare hands. The second is in the Sierra Nevada mountains, in which the host is starving so he hunts a rabbit with a stick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG2TstzBqPY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxKENjeIPuA

Second, there has been a lot of discussion about an LAJC Lackey 80's Night outing. Jaberwoke has 80's night every Friday and Saturday. Any interest?

- Sporadic BR Lackey

Desperate Lackey Seeks Suitable Companion

Unsuccessful in his recent efforts prowling the maternity ward, and offended by subsequent low-brow offers of female companionship, the Bioler Room's cleanest, best-pressed, haute couture'd, continental laquai-about-town seeks suitably high-brow dame (a.k.a., hot momma) for stimulating liaisons and perhaps some baked brie (or an equally sophisticated "taco puff").

Definitely NOT interested in pity-induced consolation. (That gets old after a while.)

Indecent Proposal

In response to the anonymous intern, who so callously turned down my gracious invitation for T.V. Viewing:



Bodily harm should pale in comparison to an evening of T.V. with two lovely female interns.... regardless of the program in question.



-Gregarious part-time lackey

End of the Day Quote

Around 4:50pm:

Female intern invites male intern to watch T.V. show "So You Think You Can Dance."

Male intern asks, "What are you going to do with my body?"

Everyone looks bewildered.

Male intern continues, "...when I kill myself.

Around LAJC (ALAJC)

Thumbs down to boiler room interns who have a picnic and don't invite the other interns and then bring their food into the boiler room to rub it in our faces. ALAJC doesn't care how good your food smells or looks cause we're too busy doing our work and enjoying how much more workspace (and peace and quiet) we have since your noisy, overstuffed bodies have left.

Funny, But True Story

First Intern asks Second Intern for his email address. Second intern replies, ---6n@virginia.edu.

First intern asks, "Is that "n" as in "nasty"? Other interns laugh.

Second intern replies, "Yes. That's my middle name- Big Nasty."

Quote of the Day (Before the day even started 8:40am)

One intern asks another intern which hospital is he going to be at all morning and the second intern replies:

"The main one. I'm going to the maternity ward to find me some hot young mamas!"

T-Shirt Quote of the Day

Supervisor takes interns to unnamed diner downtown. Waitress' t-shirt reads: "My farts smell like bacon."

Supervisor smiles and says, "Only the best for our interns."

Interns laugh and one replies, "If my sandwich (vegetarian) smelled like bacon then I would have worried."