Starburst: Snack of Champions

We in the Boiler Room have discovered the secret to success: candy. Last week we had an nice mix of chewable and peanut-butter cups (which attracted the attention of our superiors). This week we've got a new batch and the starburst are packing an extra special fruity punch. As Jubilee! continues to track down insurance information and Kodiak wrestles with the Fourteenth Amendment - it's those little chewy fruity pieces of joy that keep us fighting the good fight. (Spinning class at 6:15 am for anyone interested in counterbalancing the ill effects of eating bit-size energy packs all day).

Ahoy Me Hearties

Aye Mateys. We pirates of the law gathered for our crew meetin' this morn, led by our fearless Captain Grey(in')-Beard. After settin' aside some admin issues, we prepared for t' comin' battles, and they be many. Battles with t' bilge-sucking wig-heads, t' corrupt yellow-belly officers o' the law, battles with them scalawag sick houses, and o' course, with the lily-livered merchant spawn. As our fearless captain said, "It's bullsh*t that they make sh*t up...we should f* with them a little." And f* with them we shall, t' get our clients thr booty, be it a letter o' apology or free ice-cream for life!"

Slumlords Beware

Members of the Boiler Room will not be held responsible for the death of a landlord. The one exception to this rule being those slumlords personally slayed by Slumlord Slayer. Furthermore, we should add that Slumlord Slayer much prefers the use of a longsword to that of a knife, gun, or other less noble weapons. Malevolent landlords, beware.

Because nothing says saving children like Dick...

Cheney that is. Today on Slate.com, Fred Kaplan posted a opinion column making several compelling arguments for sending Cheney back to the Bunker. Those of us here in the Boiler Room couldn't agree with Mr. Kaplan more.

Dick Cheney at Legal Aid Justice Center? Working with needy children in tough situations? Supervising the JustChildren Interns? What could be better? Not only would our former Vice President bring a wealth of knowledge about child rearing and discipline to the Bunker, but he would also bring his notably warm and pleasant demeanor, uplifting the spirits of all who work there and, I'm sure, more than a touch of energetic enthusiasm to the job. Obnoxious prosecutors might ease up on those nose-breakers if they knew that legal aid was preparing the Bunker for water-boarding exercises, and I'm sure clients would be more than honest with our former Vice President there to gently keep them on track. Watch out for leaks though, as we all know the consequences for dropping client information are much worse than those for letting slip the identities of certain CIA agents.

So, if you're reading this Mr. Cheney, please, listen to Mr. Kaplan and head on over to the Bunker. Those Just Children interns are waiting anxiously for you to "gently encourage" them to stay on track.

Send Cheney Back to the Bunker! - Fred Kaplan, Slate

Although the Bunker showed us up by being 'on time' to case review, they still haven't posted on their blog. I think that says it all.

We learned so much about our boss today:



and


All in all - good mtg. And there was cake.....

Life Lessons: Part 1

As we stumble through westlaw and lexis searches, try to recover from the shock that LRW actually was the most important class we took 1L year, and triumph over the intricacies of adding printers on both macs AND pcs, we are reminded that there are still a few tricks of the trade we have yet to learn.

Slumlord Slayer has quickly become an expert on all things housing related - but her valiant efforts to save housing for the poor were almost nullified when she was thrown a curve ball late yesterday afternoon: What is a roach?

For those who have yet to learn - we have attached an instructional video so that next time you will not be caught off guard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dtrIidmj2s

Day 2: It's hot in the Boiler Room

Welcome to summer 09 in the Boiler Room. Google Images has kindly provided us with a record of important events of the day. To start with a fine quote:

We also had a bit of this:

and this:

And, of course, this:

All this pretty much makes us:

What can we say? It's hot in the Boiler Room, or it would be if the AC was turned down just a touch...

They're On To Me

See what prosecutors in Cincinnati are doing to stave off the waterworks.
read link

A Little More Love

Ya tebya lyublyu

Phom Rak Khun

Seni seviyorum

Je t'aime

Te amo

Ik hou van je

Mai tumaha pyar karta hu

Ani ohev otach

So many ways to say I love you. What languages are represented here?

Retirement

In light of recent comments, I am going into early blog retirement.  Though I reserve the right to come out of my chosen retirement at any point, I see no reason to legitimize the slanderous accusations posted here.  

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.  

Bridget's self-deprecating quote of the day

"I feel like such a crappy person." - Bridget

The problem with pet snakes...

"Bridgeport police said they arrested a city man after he ordered his pet snake to attack two officers.  Lucky for them, 9-foot-long pythons aren't very obedient." - AP

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.  

Hotter than WHAT?!

Friday's quote of the day did not come from office conversation.  Instead it came from the waiter at Miller's (where we were, celebrating Andy's birthday).  Upon serving us chili cheese fries, the waiter cautioned us:

"Careful with these fries.  They're hotter than two lesbians fighting over a jug of canola oil in a phone booth."  

Feel free to comment on this. 

A Week in Review

2400 Minutes: How do you measure, measure a week [to the tune of Seasons of Love] -

- $136: in travels to and from Louisa to view a file which, in the end, ("BAD NEWS FOR YOU GUYS!"), HUD policy prevented us from viewing in its entirety.
- 6: Articles of clothing purchased on female boiler room excursion to the fabulous Fashion Square Mall (to Belk, and beyond) --> one black dress, one brown dress, one pair green capris, one black satin shirt, one jean skirt, and one seriously under-appreciated green skirt with tiny pink embroidered flamingos.
- probably about 12: cases Mike closed this week. Never mind that he only had 5 open on Monday. We call him, and Kyra Sedgewick, "The Closer," and the world needs folks like Mike and Kyra.
- One: Humilitating aforementioned karaoke incident. No one wore pleather.

Stay tuned next week for more lemon raspberry freeze pops and inter-office conflicts over the placement of desert flora. That's why we do what we do. It ain't for the free whisky. [w/ credit to Trace Adkins.]

Grease is the word

Last night.  The setting?  Baja Bean Karaoke.  4 talented interns (3 girls and one very brave, very secure boy) rocked the house with their rendition of "You're the One that I want."  Hot.  Sexy.  The words are appropriate. And that's all you need to know about that.  

So I can do this.  

Want to see this.  

Friday Afternoon

Feeling like this.