They're On To Me

See what prosecutors in Cincinnati are doing to stave off the waterworks.
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A Little More Love

Ya tebya lyublyu

Phom Rak Khun

Seni seviyorum

Je t'aime

Te amo

Ik hou van je

Mai tumaha pyar karta hu

Ani ohev otach

So many ways to say I love you. What languages are represented here?

Retirement

In light of recent comments, I am going into early blog retirement.  Though I reserve the right to come out of my chosen retirement at any point, I see no reason to legitimize the slanderous accusations posted here.  

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.  

Bridget's self-deprecating quote of the day

"I feel like such a crappy person." - Bridget

The problem with pet snakes...

"Bridgeport police said they arrested a city man after he ordered his pet snake to attack two officers.  Lucky for them, 9-foot-long pythons aren't very obedient." - AP

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.  

Hotter than WHAT?!

Friday's quote of the day did not come from office conversation.  Instead it came from the waiter at Miller's (where we were, celebrating Andy's birthday).  Upon serving us chili cheese fries, the waiter cautioned us:

"Careful with these fries.  They're hotter than two lesbians fighting over a jug of canola oil in a phone booth."  

Feel free to comment on this. 

A Week in Review

2400 Minutes: How do you measure, measure a week [to the tune of Seasons of Love] -

- $136: in travels to and from Louisa to view a file which, in the end, ("BAD NEWS FOR YOU GUYS!"), HUD policy prevented us from viewing in its entirety.
- 6: Articles of clothing purchased on female boiler room excursion to the fabulous Fashion Square Mall (to Belk, and beyond) --> one black dress, one brown dress, one pair green capris, one black satin shirt, one jean skirt, and one seriously under-appreciated green skirt with tiny pink embroidered flamingos.
- probably about 12: cases Mike closed this week. Never mind that he only had 5 open on Monday. We call him, and Kyra Sedgewick, "The Closer," and the world needs folks like Mike and Kyra.
- One: Humilitating aforementioned karaoke incident. No one wore pleather.

Stay tuned next week for more lemon raspberry freeze pops and inter-office conflicts over the placement of desert flora. That's why we do what we do. It ain't for the free whisky. [w/ credit to Trace Adkins.]

Grease is the word

Last night.  The setting?  Baja Bean Karaoke.  4 talented interns (3 girls and one very brave, very secure boy) rocked the house with their rendition of "You're the One that I want."  Hot.  Sexy.  The words are appropriate. And that's all you need to know about that.  

So I can do this.  

Want to see this.  

Friday Afternoon

Feeling like this.  

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

There is no theory of evolution.  Only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.  

All for one [cactus]....!

The Boiler Room Intern Nexus Group for Internal Tactics (BRING IT) is pleased to report that it was successful in its operation to seize Roger, the Bunker Cactus, and place him in protective custody.  He is now in safe, nurturing hands that hope to nurse him back to health.  Roger enjoys the love and support from his family and friends in the Boiler Room and wants to put the traumatic experience behind him.  

Coming Soon: Triple-Threat Match!

This is bound to be the battle of the decade! In this very Boiler Room, a Triple-Threat, no-holds barred, falls-count-anywhere, match between SHIVA(the Destroyer), GALACTUS (the Devourer of Worlds), and FLUFFY (the Destroyer of Worlds)!  

We will soon be posting Vegas odds as information becomes available to us. 

A Travesty Extended

Me: So...what's today?

Saint Kyle:  There are no words to describe what today is.  

Hungry? Why should a Peacock wait?

A virtual bar for our hungry Peacock.  

Our enemies fear law students and...El Jefe.

"They don't like students because they think you're smarter than they are."

"Well...."

"Ok, you are."

Words of encouragement from our favorite (and only) Consigliere

Disgraced lawyers are funny

"Well, you could pull an all-nighter to work on the brief and then be too tired tomorrow and lose in court.  It'd be funny.....well, it'd be funny to me." - The Godrather's consigliere. 

Legal Ant(s) Justice Center

Maybe it was the friendly conversation.  Perhaps it was the vast array of legal brainpower in the room.  Or probably just the food.  But the ants are back.  

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Joke's on the Jailer

"That guy thought we were there  to gain practical experience.  Little did he know we were just there out of morbid curiosity." - You know who, except he won't let me write his name [on our prison visit]

Power Struggle?

Are leaders born? Appointed from on high? Or derived from the power of the proletariat? There appears to be a power struggle afoot that will not rest until "all your base are belong to us." Beware the protection of El Jefe.

Boiler Room Cosa Nostra

With the Godfather's blessing, the man known simply as "El Jefe" assumes the role of Capo Bastone or "underboss" within the ranks of the Boiler Room, answering only to the Godfather himself and his female Consigliere

Legally HOT

"It was my first experience with the dormant commerce clause.  It was like...whoa....hooooooot." - Erica

Day-Tripping!

Saint Kyle: Are they off on another field trip?

Me: Yeah.  Again.

Saint Kyle: Did Katie go this time?

Me: Yeah.  She went yesterday too. 3 people for that job?

Saint Kyle: Well yesterday, that was a joke.

Me: If yesterday was a joke, what's today?

Saint Kyle: A travesty. 

Boiler Room chatter.  Jail visit up next!

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.  Twice.

(two Chuck Norris facts in a row.  This blog needs more posters.)

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The BBQ Room

The Boiler Room went for roadside, Pit-Stop (formerly Jinx's) delicious BBQ.  Just putting that out there.  Don't get too jealous.

Of strange organisms...

The Pink Panther just gave us a lecture on banana fungus.  It's a slow day.  

And the intern who can yell "fooooooore" in a sexy Scottish brogue is....

Kyle "Tiger" Wamstead who learned to play golf at St. Andrews while studying at St. Andrews.  

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris invented black.  In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Possessed Phone

The phone started dialing back at Bridget.  It's that kind of day.  

Bridget's self-deprecating quote of the day

"If you were opposing counsel, would YOU take me seriously once you met me in person?"

And the "Enlightened" Intern is...

While in India, Jose "Om" Masini journeyed to the Himalayan town of Dharamsala ("Little Lhasa"), home of the Tibetan government in exile, and attended teachings conducted by the His Holiness The Dalai Lama in his home temple.  

"Om mani padme hum." - Tibetan mantra.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Bridget's self-deprecating quote of the day

"I'm not scrappy, I'm crappy."

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

There is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer.  Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.  

Give it up for the Reverend....

Jason "The Preacher Man" McKim!  Jason is an electronically ordained minister through the United Life Church and is legally licensed to perform weddings. The Universal Life Church has two beliefs: (1) do good, and (2) respect other religions. Simple enough, right?

Jason's credentials of ministry are available in PDF format at http://people.virginia.edu/~jdm2fb/Credentials%20of%20Ministry.pdf

The voters in this last poll were remarkably accurate in choosing the correct intern. When asked why, one voter responded "Jason just seems like the type of person who would do something crazy and stupid like that." Ahem.

Cookie Survey...

Upcoming Boiler Room-Specific Interactive Survey: The Cookie Showdown

We've procured six cookies from the across-the-street bakery to conduct an important survey - which cookie has what it takes to overcome the 3pm slump?

Will it be...

Java Chip? This chewy, chocolatey delight's partially melted chips will soothe the midday mayhem...
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip? Gooey chocolate chips, doughy, peanut butter cookie - unbeatable combination?
Chocolate Chip? No new twist on an old favorite, will a slight deficiency in chocolate chips defeat this contender?
Snickerdoodle? Cinnamon sugar sweetness...delicious, break-offable pieces - but can this cookie beat out the members of the chocolate quartet?
Pecan Shortbread? Crispy shortbread cookie w/ ornamental pecan: too plain, or subtle culinary genius?
Chocolate Walnut? Chocolate Walnut makes a bold move, opting for a chocolate dough base, accented with crunchy walnut pieces -
Or, the surprise last-minute entry, Katie Peacock's Butterscotch Oatmeal cookies, a deliciously unexpected pairing of traditional oatmeal flavor and rich, butterscotch pieaces?

Weigh in, readers!

Sounds of the Boiler Room - A Haiku

Bridget squeaks often.  

Working makes a peacock groan.

Oh, Boiler Room sounds. 

CONSTANT VIGILANCE

The Boiler Room has become aware of subversive efforts carried out by the Morgue (alias "Bullpen").  Motivated by jealousy over the Boiler Room's superiority, Morgue marauders have been caught raiding the Boiler Room's supplies, hijacking the printer, and engaging in acoustic espionage.  The Boiler Room appreciates your lunch invitation, but we are also wary of Morgue members bearing gifts.  We welcome friendship but any hostile attempts will be met with swift and crushing retaliation by troops from our special ops division, the Boiler Room Interns Nexus Group for Internal Tactics (BRING IT).  

LIBERATION OF LACKEY 238

As promised, BRING IT forces successfully located Lackey 238 and executed an immediate rescue operation.  Lackey 238 has been returned safely and physically unharmed though it may take time to determine the extent of his psychological trauma.  

ALL FOR ONE.....

After a daring raid, the Boiler Room Intern Nexus Group for Internal Tactics (BRING IT) liberated our distressed damsel lackey who had been invidiously imprisoned within the silent confines of Rock Fortress. Unfortunately, despite the resounding success of the covert action, we failed to anticipate the profound effect captivity had on her fragile psyche.  Our beloved distressed damsel lackey has sadly fallen victim to Stockholm Syndrome and returned to her captors.  However, our intel has revealed that Rock Fortress continues to be susceptible to infiltration by our elite troops and rescue operations will begin shortly.  A team of specialists will help rehabilitate our distressed damsel lackey once BRING IT forces successfully rescue her again.  

The whereabouts of Lackey 238 are still undetermined but our satellite surveillance has yielded positive results and a second BRING IT team is on stand-by to commence rescue once his precise location is discovered.  Stay strong Lackey 238; we will not forget you.  

  

VIVE LA RESISTANCE!

The Boiler Room has recently become aware of a nefarious plot to divide and conquer interns.  This invasion of our beloved Intern Nation is not one with guns, but one with anchor spaces in which to further isolate an already partitioned  Nation.  The Intern Nation will not stand idly by as we are picked off and forced into hiding in our own community.  Through our brave and noble Boiler Room Special Forces and Secret Intern Agents we will fight to repel this invasion by any means necessary.  

Interns united, will never be divided!

Hail to the Chief!

We pledge our unwavering loyalty to our guru, mentor, and great protector - Chief JGC!

Things about Bridget that Bridget likes.

Her neck.

What happens when you commandeer the big, comfy chair

Bridget squeaks. A lot.

Reincarnation 2008

New lackeys and new cases.  Same work. 

The Boiler Room Bloggers are back.