While visiting a Mexican restaurant in Orange, an LAJC attorney and an intern were confronted by a protester in the parking lot. What was he protesting? If you guessed the war in Iraq you would be woefully mistaken. Immigration? Nope. This courageous man decided to take a stand against... lawyers! To quote a sign, "Lawyers will receive greater damnation in hell." Greater than what? Like many a great author, the protester left this to our imagination.
So, the two brave LAJCers decided they would go have a kind word with the man on the mission. When asked what his beef was, he responded, "Well, I just got done telling that to them" (pointing to the people driving away). Evidently, the LAJCers presumptuously assumed the protester was standing by the street with signs because he wanted to tell his story. Nonetheless, the kind-hearted protester appeased the LAJCers by explaining that he lost his pro se case when the opposing attorney stole his medical records from the clerk's office (note: unconfirmed).
Evidently, in addition to being compulsive thieves, lawyers are not Americans either. Attempting to cite the Constitution, he noted that lawyers call themselves "Esquire," which is a title of nobility, which is not allowed. When it was kindly pointed out that what the Constitution actually says is that the U.S. government will not give titles of nobility and no person holding a position of office shall accept one from another nation without the approval of congress, he responded, "Yeah, they can't accept a title of nobility and they call themselves esquire." Seeing that the differentiation eluded him. The LAJCer resorted to analogy and asked, "What about LeBron James? Is he an American? He calls himself King James?" At which point he began to explain how that in the gospel of Luke, it says lawyers are going to hell. An LAJCer then asked what he thought about Legal Aid lawyers who help the poor for free. "All part of the same monopoly."
The LAJCers then took a few pamphlets the protester had made up and wished him luck, the whole time their legal personas having remained undercover. Before they could leave, the protester stopped them to explain his disgust in having been wished luck. "The word 'luck,'" he said "is derived from Lucifer" and I guess he doesn't like mingling with the devil. To think he sullied himself talking to two of the devil's own and didn't even know it! Muah, ha ha!
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