The reason i've gotten no work done in the past half hour

Gofugyourself.com sucked me in.

Q. Dear Aunt Fugly,

What does a girl wear to an annulment? Is Carolina Herrera too much? And, how much time should I wait before contacting my ex? He might be married, but I'm pretty sure that was just a revenge wedding because I married a gay alien and he wasn't happy about it. Maybe I should wear something seductive so I can go right over to his place after I sign the papers? I'm nervous! God, I need a rice grain.

You complete me,

Afraid of Carbs

A. Dear You Had Me At I DON'T CARE,

You know, you people don't have real problems. I have real problems. I'm having Alan Partridge's baby and no I'm not yes I am no I'm not yes I am WHERE IS MY HAMBURGER? I WILL THROW THIS MICROPHONE STAND AT YOUR HEAD. No, I won't. See? It's just a banana. Banana. BANANA! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A -- that reminds me, I have to call Stefani. Talk about people who can't DRESS. She makes ME look like -- hey, remember when I dressed all classy and shit? Like when I was in that movie with that guy from Cheers. Man, he had the best weed. I should call him except I totally don't remember his name anymore.

I'm going to take a nap now.